I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
