...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize