So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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