like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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