I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
