So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
