I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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