Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
