mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Panties = found
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
