Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
