You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
