the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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