Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
