what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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