Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am one with the molecules
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
