batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
