i permit you to call me
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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