somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
