I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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