i think i have two assholes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
