my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
