Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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