you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
