Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize