Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
