moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Pi๑atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I believe in your delicious
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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