i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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