i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
