i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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