He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
