New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize