Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
