I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
