Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
