were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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