Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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