i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
