there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
