Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Swine flu is the new snow day.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Randomize
