How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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