I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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