ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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