I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
