I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
