I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
