I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
