just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
