Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
