wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
