we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think I just sharted jello shots
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