She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
