just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
