I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize