dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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