I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
