I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
