Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Barsexuality is the new black.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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