new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
