Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
