i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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