i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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