That's intense
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
