I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
