man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
