Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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