I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Is it penis luge time yet?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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