hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
