We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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