apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
