After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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