Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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