This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
NoShamevember. You game?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize