I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
