its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
