we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
As shirtless as possible
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
