speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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