If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
