I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
