My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Holy shit dude........stairs
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
