He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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