Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
