We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
